A Force to Love

There are days when I just want to quit, throw in the towel. There are days when I dream that putting my kids in school so I can get a job or go back to school myself sounds like a refuge from stress.

If I could do more for myself then life would be perfect. 

The other day I was reading to the kids about a missionary family that's in an unreached people group in Asia. The families living arrangements  was not ideal as you can imagine. No plumbing, no electricity, scarce food and water; fear of death hanging around every corner. 

I realized that when these missionary's sent out request to the church for supplies. The church didn't respond back with discouragement. They didn't ask them "why are you doing this?", "Why are you putting your children through this, you know you don't have too." They didn't ask them what about "socialization." They didn't tell them to pursue something more desirable. They encouraged them and tried to help them to further their mission. 

And why? 

Why do these missionaries even through all the hardship still persevere?

There's a force; a force of love for the lost. A force to give hope to them who are hopeless and fearful.  A force to those who are deteriorating. They have no vision, no purpose. 

If we don't go who will?

As I realized this I started to cry and see my need for repentance. The life God put me in I was being ungrateful for. I was being pulled in the direction of what others thought best instead of rejoicing in the blessings that the Lord has given me.

 My job as a mother is no different than a missionary. Yes I know I have plumbing and healthy eating choices. But as a mother I am always encouraged to pursue my dreams and to even put my children aside to fulfill my dreams. I'm told that in the long run it will be best for them cause I'll be happier. But I need to learn to be happy where I'm at. I need to have that force of love for my children. That force that shakes me up and out of my "it's all about me" state. To know that I may not see the harvest that I sowed. But for me there is no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth. And no education, no job can provide that for me.